Ham and Cheese on Rye

I really never pictured, when I was younger, what my life would be like when I was older. I always thought that I would have grandchildren, whom I would love dearly - and I do. I just never thought of what all being older would entail.

First of all, I have to say that I love being retired even though I am still involved in teaching. For the past several years, I taught students who for medical reasons were unable to attend school for an extended period of time. Except for one student, all of these were young women who had babies while still in high school. I have to say that working with these girls was extremely rewarding, especially when I now see them around town with their young children whom I often held while their mothers worked on algebra, or government, or English. So much of that job entailed offering encouragement and support to them so that they would complete their high shcool education and hopefully go on somewhere for further education. Some did and some did not, but I feel that I did perform a much needed service to them. However, this year, for whatever reason, there is no one that is in need, yet, of homebound instruction, so I am substitute teaching. More about that at a later time! But, back to my original thought, it is something that I never saw myself doing.

Another thing that never occurred to me was that I might have divorced children. My grandparents - both sets - were married for sixty + years; my husband's grandparents - the same; my mother and daddy were married for fifty-nine years when Daddy passed away; my husband's parents just celebrated their sixty-fifty anniversary. My husband and I have been married for almost forty-three years. So, divorce is not something that is common in our family. but two of our four children are divorced with custody of their respective children.

Our son has a job where his busiest time is the weekend, so for the past several years, we have kept his son every other weekend. This has been a joy for us as he is a delightful child, but I feel such a responsibility when he is with us to provide a nurturing and loving environment. When he is with us, I want him to see a what a good relationship between two people is. Don't get me wrong, I think that my son is a great father who is very loving and nurturing, but I think that children need to see the give and take of a couple relationship too.

The last thing that I never foresaw was that I would be a caretaker for my mother and my in-laws. Fortunately, all that means right now is taking them out of town for doctor's appointments and checking on them several times a week. And I am more than glad to do it. After all, these are the people who raised my husband and me and devoted eighteen years of their lives to us. To say that I feel an obligation to them sounds as if I begrudge them the time I spend with them and that is certainly not the case. But it is something that I certainly did not see in my crystal ball when I was younger.

I have heard the term "sandwich generation" used to refer to us baby boomers who have responsibilities both to our aging parents and to our children/grandchildren. It is a good term; it is an apt term; but it does not begin to describe the richness of the experience of being in the middle of four generations!